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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:50
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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
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When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
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Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
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A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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